Sins of Our Love
by Kushina Anna
Summary: Life changes rapidly for the members of Black Veil Brides as they head out on their third tour together and things start to get a little more intimate... (Partly Andley) ((ON (POSSIBLY PERMANENT) HIATUS!))
1. Chapter 1

**Pairings:** AshleyxAndy, AndyxJinxx, JinxxxChristian, ChristianxJake, JakexAshley. (There will be more complicated pairings, that's just the rough idea.)

**Prompt: Black Veil Brides are 5 normal guys, living normal lives, until they go on their third tour together and things start to get a little bit more intimate... None of them are heterosexual; each of them is in love with another, but none of them have their love returned.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the famous people that may be included, I only own the OC's I create. If any events or people are similar to those you may know, it is pure coincidence.**

**~Ashley~**

He was searching for his phone as I waited by the door. I came to pick him up, we were going on our third tour; it started tomorrow and we needed to be at the venue tomorrow morning at the latest. It was a pretty long drive, Kellin, our bus, driver told us. Anyway, he was looking around, trying to get everything sorted in the last minute.. Typical.

"Andy, hurry your ass up, we're going to be late and Kellin and the rest will go without us!"

"I'm coming.. Just this... One last.. Thing and I'm done." Andy muttered as he shoved some more clothes into his suitcase.

"You were supposed to have everything ready yesterday, Andy-Pand-..." Shit. I didn't just call him that did I? He looked up from his open suitcase and stared hard at me for what seemed like an eternity to me - but in reality it was only a second or two. I felt my face turn bright red as he stared at me. Shaking his head, he proceeded to close the suitcase.

"Uh.. Should I help you with that..?" I muttered, glancing at the floor, then at him. I let my hair fall in front of my face, hiding my embarrassment.

"I'm fine, I can do it." He said, quietly.

We walked out of the door and he locked it behind us. When we got to my car, we both reached out to oepn the trunk. Then, for a mere second, our hands touched. His warm fingers brushed the back of my hand before he quickly pulled his hand away and shattered my dreams.

He probably hates me now, after that encounter with me calling him Andy-Pandy. I always dream of calling him that, once he was min- Never mind. It's not like I'm bisexual! Girls are my religion.. Right? _Right?_ Who am I kidding? I'm bisexual and I'm in love with Andrew Dennis Biersack.

Anyway, his beautiful blue eyes stared hard into my brown eyes, causing a shiver of pleasure -to finally have his attention- to run through my body.

"Ashley, just open the Goddamn trunk, will you?!" He shouted. I looked down and fumbled with it, soon opening it to reveal my suitcase. He piled his in and I slammed it shut before climbing into the driver's seat. Andy got into the passenger seat, obviously.

Most of the drive to our meeting spot was in silence..

"Hey, Ash, what's wrong?" Andy asked, looking over at me.

"N-nothing." I stuttered. Was I crying? I wiped my cheeks. Yep. I was.

"Something... What is it? Maybe I can help?" He was obviously worried.

I shook my head. "Y-you wouldn't u-understand." More tears fell from my eyes.

"Pull over, Ash. Please." He was searching my face for clues. We were on the highway so on the next stop, I pulled over and Andy got out, walked 'round to my side and opened the door.

"Come here." Andy motioned for me to hug him. I did. I started to shake and cry even more. I clung to the man I love, even though he was the reason for my tears. He whispered soothing words into my ear. "It'll be alright.. I'm here.. Ash, we should get a room at the hotel and talk, we still have 5 hours to get to the bus, and it's only half an hour away."

I nodded and let go of him. Andy got up, grabbed my hand and pulled me up off my seat. Quickly I shut the car and we walked up to the hotel.

"Can we have a room please? We're not staying the night, we only need it for a few hours." Andy said. The receptionist looked us up and down and nodded.

"Room 369, here's the key." She handed it over and we walked over to the lift.

"I-I'm s-s-sorry A-Andy.." I managed to whisper.

"Shh, there's nothing to be sorry for, don't worry, I can help you with whatever you need, you're my best friend." He tried to calm me down, but hearing that I'm just his friend made me cry slightly more. I can't tell him I'm in love with him! He'll hate me.

Once we got to the room, Andy shut the door and sat down on the bed, pulling me down beside him.

"Now tell me, wha-" His phone rang. Andy looked at the name, then at me. I nodded; he walked into the bathroom and locked the door. From parts of the conversation that I heard, I figured that it was probably that girl that Andy slept with on our last tour, I guessed that they were together or something. Great. I pulled out a razor from my pocket and sobbed quietly. I can't take this.. I pulled my sleeve up and took my wristbands off, pressing the blade to my wrist, which was already covered in dark red scars and deep cuts. Moving the blade didn't hurt as much as the thought of my love with someone else. The razor drew blood which dripped from my wrist and onto my black skinny jeans. I pressed the blade to my wrist again, this time opening up an old cut.. My tears mixed with my blood. Just as I was about to put the blade to my skin again, I heard a 'click' and the bathroom door opened.

"Sorry about th- Ashley Purdy what the fuck do you think you're doing?!" He yelled when he saw what I was doing. I tried my best to hide my wrist and shove my bracelets back on but it was no use. He dropped his phone and rushed towards me, taking the razor from my hands.

"Ashley! Why would you do that to yourself!" Andy screamed. Tears were forming in his eyes, threatening to escape. He grabbed my wrist, hard. I yelped in pain and squeezed my eyes shut. "I'm s-sorry." He said and loosened his grip, taking my bracelets off again to reveal cut up, bloody skin.

By now we were both crying. I kept muttering words of sorrow through my tears. When we had both calmed a little, Andy spoke.

"Ashley... Please tell me, why did you do that?" He asked.

"I.. I... It stops the p-pain." I breathed.

"What pain? Ash? What's wrong, seriously, I can help." Andy got up from kneeling before me and sat next to me, looking into my eyes.

"I.. It... You- you wouldn't understand." I managed to say before bursting into tears again. Andy wrapped his hands around me and hugged me tightly.

"Listen Ashley. You can tell me anything. You're my best friend! It hurts to see you like this..."

"I... Well, I'm in love. And I know I don't have a chance with them." I managed to whisper into his chest.

"Ashley! Of course you have a chance! Every girl loves you!" He put his hands on my shoulders and smiled. I just cried more.

"That's the thing though, I'm in love with a man." I choked out.

"Man or woman, I'm sure he likes you back, you're a great guy, anyone would be lucky to have you." Andy hugged me again. "Now tell me, who's the lucky guy?" He smiled.

"I.. I don't want to say. Y-you'll hate me."

"Don't say that, I could never hate you!" He had tears in his eyes. I didn't mean to hurt him, I just couldn't tell him. Alright, I'll do it.

"I-it's you." He looked shocked when I told him, and before he could say anything I interrupted. "I-I'm so sorry! I know you probably hate me now, I shouldn't have said that. I'm so s-sorry! You're straight anyway. What am I saying? I'm sorry Andy..." I got up and was about to run out of the door when a firm hand grabbed my arm and spun me around.

"Ashley, I wasn't expecting that... I could never hate you. I... I'm not straight, but I'm sorry. I... I like someone else. I'm so sorry." We were both in tears again. I was against a wall so I slid down, pulled my knees up to my chin, put my head in my hands and cried. Andy kept repeating that he's sorry. What did it matter? I knew I had no chance with him. God, why am I such an idiot?!

I looked around, trying to locate my razor. He noticed and ran up to me, pulling me up before crashing his lips to mine. I froze, then instantly kissed back. His soft lips felt like heaven against mine. Andy gently licked my bottom lip, asking for entrance which I gladly granted. Our tongues explored each others' mouths, mapping out every millimeter. They battled for dominance, but soon danced around in unison. He bit my bottom lip softly, drawing a tiny amount of blood. He then pulled away, only a thin string of saliva connecting us for a short moment.

"I'm sorry." Andy whispered.

"Don't be. I always dreamed of that." I blushed. "Now tell me, Who do _you_ love?"

"It's Jinxx..." Andy looked down, clearly blushing.

"Oh." Was all I could manage. A simple 'Oh.'

"Well, I know I'll never get him... He has all those girls running after him." Now Andy was the one crying.

"It's alright, I'm sure you have a great chance with him." I wanted to add 'More chance of being with him than I have to be with you.' but that might have upset him more.

"Ash?"

"Yeah, Andy?"

"What would you say to us being friends with benefits...?" He looked down, slightly smirking. I giggled.

"I wouldn't say no to such a great offer." He chuckled and pinned me against the wall, pressing his lips to mine. His hands traveled down, towards the edge of my shirt. He slid his hands under and played with my nipples. I moaned softly into his mouth.

"Are you sure you want this, Ash?" Andy asked.

"I haven't been more sure about anything in my life. I would prefer to be friends with benefits rather than just friends. Are _you_ sure you want to do this?" I whispered the last part in hopes that he didn't hear me. "I love you.."

He smirked and licked my lips. He obviously heard what I said. "Yep." He pulled my shirt over my head and threw it on the floor, connecting our lips once again. Then he picked me up and tossed me onto the bed, before climbing on top of me. He kissed my neck and bit down, gently at first but gaining confidence with my every moan. He moved down and started to bite and suck my nipples, while I took his shirt off. I arched my back as he moved down lower, undoing my belt and removing my pants. I felt a lot of my blood travel south. Andy took my underwear off with his teeth. Damn, he was so sexy! He stroked my hard member. Then he looked up at me, that horny grin exciting me, before sucking the head of my dick. Gasps, moans and groans filled the room.

Andy stopped and his warm mouth traveled back up to kiss me.

"Stop teasing and just fuck me already." I muttered glancing away as he bit my stomach.

"I know you're enjoying this... Let me tease your sexy body some more." He hummed as he slid his hands over my chest, stomach and thighs. I blushed. **Hard. **He was right, I was enjoying it more than anything, I never wanted this to end. Maybe I could _make_ him love me..

Andy's mouth moved back onto my throbbing erection. He took it into his mouth, whole.

"Heh, I never thought that you were such a slut." I teased and laughed when he pulled a sad face. He then put two fingers to my mouth, motioning for me to suck them. I did as I was told. He then got up and took his remaining clothes off, throwing them on the floor.

"Ash, have you ever been bottom?" Andy questioned. I shook my head, his fingers still in my mouth. "Well now's your chance." He grinned as he took them out of my mouth and thrust one into my ass. I gasped as pain shot through my body, shaking me slightly. Once I relaxed a little, he added another finger, gently stretching me out, preparing me for something _much_ bigger. He thrust his fingers in and out, now hitting my prostate with every move. I screamed with pleasure and arched my back. This was the best day ever; my love fucking me, going on tour again, first kiss with my love... And the list goes on.

Suddenly his fingers were gone and I whined. "A-Andy... M-more.. I want m-more."

"Shh, you're getting more." He chuckled and pushed his dick into me. Tears welled in my eyes. He didn't move for a while, waiting for me to adjust. When he moved, pain, joy and pleasure filled my mind. Then he hit my sweet spot again. I saw white. Such pleasure...

"An-dy-y.. A-Andy..." I moaned his name. I was close, very close, and I could tell that he was too. He thrust hard into me a few more times and came. The feeling of his cum filling my ass was overwhelming. A few moments later I also came, my fluid spilling over our bare chests. I sighed as I knew that this pleasure would soon be over, Andy would want to get back to thinking about 'his Jinxx' and I'd be left thinking about how amazing Andy was, in every way...

He smirked at me, got up and came back with a towel, cleaning himself, then me, off. We got dressed, cleaned up the room and headed back to my car. On the journey to our meeting point, we were both sitting in silence, but smiling.

If this is what he wants, then I'll go along with it.


	2. Chapter 2

**~Jinxx~**

We arrived at our meeting point with an hour to spare. By 'we' I mean Jake, Christian and I.

"I'm going to get a drink, you guys coming?" I asked, hoping that they'd join me.

"Sure, the cafe or vending machine?" Christian replied. He smiled, revealing his perfect teeth. Oh how I wanted to kiss those lovely pink lips, look longingly into those perfect chocolate brown eyes, caress that cute face...

"Jinxx..? Are you still there?" A hand was in front of my face. Oh those amazing, soft hands...

"Jinxx!" Christian's voice echoed in my head. "Are you alright?" He gently shook me, his warm touch spreading through my body and going down into my crotch. Wait... What?! I felt my pants tighten. Shit. I shook myself back to reality.

"Huh? Sorry I..." I managed to say, looking into Christian's eyes before looking down at my shoes in embarrassment.

"Yeah.. Alright mate, let's get you a coffee or an energy drink, shall we?"

"And some pizza!" Jake yelled from behind us. I was being led to the cafe by the only person I could ever love. Christian Mora. His beauty was beyond perfection. Words could not express my love for him.

At the cafe Jake went to order and I stayed behind with Christian. He looked at me, concern filling his eyes.

"Jinxx I'm worried about you, man. You've been acting very strangely today... Is there something wrong?"

"I'm... Fine. I need to go to the toilet." I stood up and hurried to the toilet, where I then threw up my breakfast. I guess my eating disorders are back. Just when we're going on tour. Great. I just can't let the guys notice and I'll be fine.

I rushed back to our table and sat down, looking down at the coffee that Jake bought. I didn't want to drink it any more. I felt so... So isolated, so depressed. I guess my depression is also back to haunt me.

"Jinxx, we're really worried about you. Are you alright? Do you need us to get you anything? Are you ill?" This time Jake spoke up, his voice was filled with anxiety and concern. I guess they were truly worried. I couldn't tell them about my problems, they'd hate me...

"I'm fine..." I choked out.

"Jeremy, you know that when someone says they're fine, they mean that they're feeling like shit and want to die. What's wrong?" Christian said. I shivered. It was so cute when he used my full name, but also scary. He rarely called me Jeremy. Well, no one actually called me that, so it made it pretty cute.

"I..." I sighed. I couldn't tell them. "It doesn't matter, I'm fine."

"We know you're not, but if you don't want to tell us then that's your choice... Just... Don't do anything.. Stupid. Please." I sighed again.

"I'll try, Christian. I'll try..."

~Five minutes later.~

"Hey guys, did you get here alright?" Ashley bounced up to us. He hugged each of us, one by one, and when he hugged me, I just stood there staring into space. I really just wanted to get on the bus and lock myself in my room. Then Andy hugged us all. Again, I just stood there, glued to the spot. He noticed something wasn't right, but he didn't question me. Occasionally he would send suspicious glances my way, but I wasn't bothered. I didn't feel right, I didn't think I ever would.

A few minutes later, Kellin and our tour bus arrived. He greeted us and helped us get our bags up on the bus. I was supposed to have either the last top or bottom bunk, Andy would have the one above or below me, Ash would have one next to us and CC and Jake would have the first bunks. Great. I would be on the other side of the bus to CC. I rushed to my bunk and stood there waiting for Andy to come so I could just go to sleep. He came, pulled back the curtain and sat down.

"Jinxx, what's the matter? I'm really worried about you..." He tried to get me to sit down next to him on the bunk, but I shrugged him off.

"Top or bottom?" I muttered.

"What?"

"Top or bottom bunk?"

"I'll take top. Listen, don't change the subject. I know that something is bothering you." He succeeded in turning me around to face him. I knew that if I spoke, I would start crying, so I just climbed in, sat down and put my head in my hands.

Andy sighed and muttered something along the lines of: "This isn't even our first day of tour yet and I've already had to deal with two depressed men." I couldn't help it. I started crying. I didn't want to bother him, and if he was sitting here trying to 'comfort' me just so he wouldn't feel bad then he may as well leave me alone.

"Fuck off Andy. I don't need your help. I know you'd rather spend time with the rest, because I know they're better, so j-" he cut me off.

"I didn't mean it in that way! I'm sorry, alright? I just can't believe that everyone has been so... Upset over the past few months! They're not better than you, alright? You're kind, caring, cute, attractive and ignore the last two. Trust me, Miles. You're an amazing guy. Look I-" he bit his lip as if to stop himself from saying any more. Andy is the only person who calls me Miles. I think it's really cute, so whenever he calls me by my middle name, I know he's trying to make me smile. It usually works, but it didn't now. He knelt down in front of me, and pulled my chin up so that I was forced to look into his crystal blue eyes.

"I... I love you." He whispered before gently connecting his lips to mine. They rested there for a second and he pulled back, his cheeks turning a soft crimson color. I reached up and threw my arms around his neck, bringing him closer and connecting our lips once again. My salty tears stained my cheeks and fell over our lips, the liquid mixing with saliva once we slipped our tongues in each other's mouths. This felt good. His smooth tongue played with mine in his mouth, making my pants become slightly tighter.

Without breaking the kiss, Andy swiftly unbuttoned the top few buttons of my shirt. He then kissed every inch of my bare skin, making a quiet moan escape my mouth.

"I... I can't do this. I'm sorry." I gently pushed him off, buttoned my shirt back up, wiped my eyes of the tears and ran out, locking myself in the bathroom.


	3. Chapter 3

**~Andy~**

I could still taste Jinxx on my lips. All I could think about was him, and how much I fucking love him. No one could ever compare to him. No one would understand the passion I feel for that man. I just can't help but feel this way... His eyes, his face, his hair, his voice, his everything. It was all perfect.

I was sitting on the floor, trembling for an unknown reason. Maybe it was fear. Fear for losing someone I never had. Or it could have been excitement, that I finally got close enough to touch him, to kiss his sweet lips.

Knowing that I couldn't achieve anything while being sprawled across the floor like this made me get up, leave my comfort zone behind and join the others in watching TV. Batman came on and I shrieked in excitement.

"Na na na na na na na na na na na na Batman!" I sang along like the little child that I still was at heart. The show began and everyone fell silent.

Once it was over, Christian suggested that we all go out and get wasted.

"Let me just fix my make up, you lot head out, I'll catch up with you in a few minutes." I muttered while walking back to my room. I waited a minute until they left and unzipped my suitcase, taking out a white powder. If Jinxx didn't want me, I'd have to do this the hard way. I will drug him with ketamine.

Looking in the mirror to check if my make up was actually OK, I slid the drug in a small bag into my back pocket and walked out of the door, locking it behind me. My heart was racing by the time I arrived at the club. I slowed my pace. I was freaking out. A million questions were running through my head. What if someone notices? What if the rest of the band find out? What will Jinxx do?! Oh God, can I really do this to him?

I can. And I will.

"Hey, Andy? Come grab a drink!" Ash yelled from the bar, motioning for me to sit by him. I ordered 2 Manhattans watched as Christian playfully pulled Jake over onto the dance floor. I couldn't see Jinxx anywhere.

"Ash, where's Jinxx?" I asked.

"Oh." He sounded a little upset but quickly managed to mask it up. "I'm not sure. He came with us and then disappeared. Check over in the corners of the club, he usually hits on girls there." He grinned and walked towards Christian and Jake. I payed the bartender and grabbed the drinks. My heart was beating so hard I thought it would jump out of my chest. I was so nervous! Then I noticed him, sitting at the corner table, crying.

"Miles..." I gasped. He quickly turned around and wiped his face.

"Oh. It's you." He said with a hint of disapproval.

"I... I'm sorry. I just wanted to see if you were OK, but I can see you're not, so don't even bother trying to avoid this. You have to tell me what's wrong. Please, Miles." Placing our drinks on the table, I sat down next to him. I gently wrapped my arms around him and hugged him. He tried to push me away but I held him tightly. Soon, he gave up and cried into my chest. "Take your time." I whispered, soothingly, into his ear. He soon calmed enough to talk.

"I just... I-" He began to sob quietly again.

"It's okay, you can tell me anything sweetheart, take your time." I murmured. He pulled away, wiped his eyes and looked at me strange, but I looked down, embarrassed. He quickly shook it off and said, quietly, "I'm in love with Christian, I have an eating disorder and severe depression. I also suffer from suicidal thoughts and self hatred."

"Oh-" I choked on my words. My sweet love is going through so much and I never realized. I felt a silent tear slide down my cheek. We sat there, hugging each other and crying, for what seemed like forever. I realized that I can't do this to him, not now, anyway.

I must have fallen asleep because when I opened my eyes, I noticed that club was half empty. "Miles?" I whispered and looked down to see him curled up on my thighs and chest. He looked so adorable!

"Aww thanks, Dennis!" He giggled and I looked shocked. (We call each other by our middle names.) Did I... I didn't just say that out loud did I? "Wh- what?" I stammered.

"You said I look adorable." He sat up and reached for his drink. I was so glad I didn't get a chance to put anything in it.

"Oh shit! I didn't mean to say that out loud, but hey, now you know that I love you." I smiled. He chuckled and sipped his drink. When we finished them, I asked, "Do you want to head back to the bus and get some sleep? We've got our first gig on this tour tomorrow."

"Sure, should we tell the rest?" I looked over at the dance floor where Jake, Christian and Ashley were dancing and laughing, obviously drunk, and shook my head.

"They'll have to manage getting back by themselves." I smirked and stood up.


	4. Chapter 4

_~One week later~_

**~Christian (CC)~**

All I remember from the night out is that we were all seriously drunk. We were dancing and some chicks kept trying to flirt with us, but we were way too drunk to notice them. I needed to go to the bathroom, and surprisingly, Ashley followed me.

"What's up, dude?" I muttered.

"I know your secret." He said, simply.

"What? No... How the fuck did you find out I do drugs?!" Not thinking about what I was saying, I let that little detail that ruled my life, slip out.

"You just told me." I should have known better. It was fucking typical of Ashley Abrocket Purdy to trick me like this. We were best friends though, so I knew he would keep it a secret. This method was his usual to try and get me to tell him things, especially when he knew I was very drunk. I sighed.

"Why do you always do this, Ashley? I can trust you not to tell anyone, can't I?"

"Of course you can, CC." He smiled and we headed out of the bathroom and back to Jake.

After a few minutes, Jake and Ashley asked me to get some more drinks, so I went to the bar and ordered three more. By the time I got back to the dance floor, Jake was eating Ashley's face off. What the fuck?!

"Jake, Ashley, take your horny asses somewhere more private!" I yelled, trying to stand up straight. They immediately pulled apart, Jake staring at me with wide eyes.

"I.. Uh.. This is not what it looks like!" Jake tried to cover his face to hide his embarrassment. Ashley just looked almost as shocked as me, staring at Jake and me in turn.

"What the fuck Jake?!" Ash screamed, slapped Jake and stormed out. Jake looked pretty hurt, he had tears in his eyes, threatening to escape at any moment now. He kept whispering stupid things like: "I'm so stupid. I shouldn't have done that. I can't believe it. What have I done?" I tried to calm him down, but it didn't work as he began to sob quietly.

"Jake, what is it? Why did you do that?" I asked, taking him over to the corner of the room. He shook his head and leaned on me, crying into my shoulder. Gently, I wrapped my arms around him.

"It's okay, just because you kissed him when you're drunk doesn't make you homosexual." I tried to make him feel better but that just made him cry even more.

"T-that's the t-thing though. I-I... I a-am. A-and I'm i-in love w-with him..." He stuttered through his tears. I froze. He looked up at me, his chocolate brown puppy eyes were tinted red, watery and beautiful as ever. When I fell for him about a year ago, he looked similar. His cheeks were stained with tears, his puffy eyes, bright red from crying and his arms draped around me for comfort. Now I knew I had a chance with him because he was gay, -like me- it gave me hope.

"CC..?" He whispered. I must have been silent for longer than I thought.

"I'm sorry, it's just... Never mind." I said, quickly looking away. Then I tried to comfort him. "I'm sure he didn't mean it in a bad way..."

"He fucking slapped me!" Jake shouted, his voice cracking. I stroked his hair as I rocked back and forth with him still leaning on me.

"He's drunk, Jakey." I muttered. My hand rested on his cheek. I looked deep into his eyes. His gentle pout made me sigh. My heart was beating faster than ever. I realized how much I actually love him.

By now, Jake had wiped his face from his tears on my t-shirt. I couldn't care less. At least he stopped crying now.

**~One week later~**  
We were out at another bar today. By _'we'_ I mean Jake and me. The others wanted to stay in today and we wanted to get drunk, so we headed out to a random club. We were very drunk by then, and we were talking about some unimportant shit. I guess Jake found it incredibly funny, as soon he was crying with laughter. I couldn't even remember what it was.

"I'm going to the bathroom, I need to clean my face, I bet my make up has run." He face-palmed and smirked. I smiled at him and nodded. Then he walked off. I thought of this as my chance. I reached into the inside pocket of my leather jacket and took out a white powder in a small bag - cocaine. Making a line on the back of my hand, I sneakily sniffed it. Just as I was about to make a second line, Jake walked up to me.

"Christian! What are you doing?!" He whisper-shouted so that no one would notice. "If _that_ is what I think it is, you are aware that it's illegal, right?" Now he was sitting next to me, tipping the drug back into the little bag. Trying to make eye contact with me, Jake gently took my hands in his. I refused to look at him. My eyes were probably already red from the drug. "I'm sorry." I murmured.

"Don't be, you're just hurting yourself." He pulled my chin up, forcing me to look at him. His eyes were filled with pain and sorrow. "When?" He asked.

"W-what?"

"When did you start doing drugs?"

"Uh... I- It was about 3 years ago..." I muttered and looked away. Again, he pulled my chin back, making me look him in the eyes. It hurt. His pained eyes fixed on me, his hard gaze wandering over my face.

"You're going to make my make up run, like last time we went out, Christian. This time, it won't be out of laughter." He said it with such seriousness that I felt a lump form in my throat. I kept repeating that I'm sorry, but it wasn't working. I felt tears crash into Jake's and mine linked hands and I looked up to find that they were his tears. I reached out and wiped a single tear from his cheek, letting my hand linger there for a moment.

I felt faint and sick. I guess mixing alcohol and drugs wasn't such a good idea, but fuck it. What has been done, can't be undone, can it?! I should have known better than to just sniff fucking cocaine when I knew Jake could come back at any moment. I was stupid. I was an idiot.

"I'm so sorry Jakey. Please... Please forgive me. I- I'll do anything, just please don't hate me." I begged.

"Anything? Will you stop?" Jake said, trying to hold back tears.

"I can't d-" he cut me off.

"At least try? For me? For our friendship?" He pleaded. I sighed, then nodded. He grinned, let his tears escape and pulled me into a massive hug. "I will help you get out of it. We should start by getting rid of all your supplies and all ways of contacting any of your dealers, alright?" He said, somewhat cheerfully. I sighed again.

"I can't just stop. I'm addicted. It will take a while, Jake. I've gotten to the point where I can't last for more than 5 hours without taking some kind of drug! It's really not that simple..." Now I was crying with frustration and sadness.

"I know, CC. We start off by forgetting about your dealers then. You can have what you have left, but we will have to slowly get rid of it, bit by bit. I don't want to hurt you, I just want you to be happy and live. Christian, you're my best friend, okay?" He briefly hugged me, then kissed my cheek. What might have seemed like an innocent act of friendship to him, meant the world to me. I felt fainter than before. I smiled weakly and hugged him.

"Alright. I will try this for you, Jakey."

_A/N Sorry if some of the drug descriptions aren't accurate, I've never done drugs (and I'm not planning to) so I have no idea what to do. Again, sorry, and feel free to correct me if I'm wrong in some parts._


	5. Chapter 5

**~Jinxx~**

We were into our third week on tour now and I've barely eaten anything. No one has noticed, it's not like anyone would care, anyway. Even Andy. He said 'he cares' but it's obvious he'd rather spend time with the others. If he did care, he'd notice that I haven't ate anything for three days. The only thing I ate before that was an apple. And that was the only thing for a week. I feel like I might faint at any moment, I feel extremely dizzy, and my vision is blurred. To be honest, I don't think anyone would notice if I slowly died of starvation, I could just curl up somewhere and rot away. Honestly, I feel so fucking alone, fat and ugly that I don't even want to go out of the bus! I do need help, I know that, but I don't WANT any, I just want to die.

"No one cares about you anyway. You're fucking worthless. Kill yourself already you fat cunt!" The voices in my head were back to torture me, making me feel even worse. I was alone on the bus now -the others went shopping- so I decided to throw up whatever I had left in my body.

"Am I any better now?" I screamed through the bus after I was done.

"You'll never be good enough for ANYONE!" My mind told me and laughed at my failed attempts at trying to make myself become somewhat better looking. I hated this, I hated myself more than anything! Why did I have to be such a worthless coward?

Suddenly, a new wave of unsteadiness shot through my body and I collapsed on the cold, tiled bathroom floor and blacked out.

**~Andy~**  
"It's okay guys, I'll just jog back to the bus and grab some money, I'll be 20 minutes or so." I told them as I turned to walk to the tour bus. I had forgotten my money and I didn't want to accept their offers of paying for my things. I might as well check on Jinxx. He seemed very distant this morning... I was worried about him. I didn't want to pressurize him in to talking to me though. Something was seriously wrong and I knew it - I just didn't know how to help him. A few moments later I arrived by the tour bus. After retrieving my set of keys from my jeans pocket, I let myself in. Everything was silent and still.

"Miles?" I called out, somewhat unsure of what I was expecting.

No reply.

"Miles are you okay?" I tried again.

No reply.

I crept through the bus, looking into every room until I came to the bathroom. The door was locked.

"Miles." I said while softly knocking on the door. "Are you in there?" There was still no reply so I decided to try opening the door with my credit card. There was something blocking it. Moving back, I prepared to throw myself against the door in order to break it down. It worked. I burst in and saw Jinxx curled up on the floor.

"Jeremy Miles Ferguson what have you done?" I whispered in both shock and horror. I rushed to his side and checked his pulse. It was weak and faint, but it was there. He was alive.

Trying my best to hold back the tears which were trying to fall from my eyes, I took my phone out of my pocket and called for an ambulance.

"Emergency - which service do you require?"

"Ambulance. Please hurry."

"What is your emergency?"

"My... Friend. I just came back to our tour bus and he was lying on the floor, unconscious!" I told the services person the location of our bus and what I think happened. "I don't think he has eaten anything for a few days, he said he has an eating disorder before."

"How old is your friend?"

"He's 27."

"Is he breathing?"

I put my hand over his mouth to check.

"Yes. His breathing is very faint though."

"An ambulance is on it's way. Please try to stay calm."

"Please hurry..." I whispered and let my tears fall. The operator hung up. I gently held Jinxx's hand and kissed his cheek.

A few minutes later I heard sirens outside. I let go of Jinxx's hand and ran out to show them that he's in here. Immediately they appeared in the bus after me and placed Jinxx on a stretcher, carrying him outside.

"Can I go with him, please?" I begged, feeling more tears about to fall.

"Who are you to him?"

"I... Uh... I'm his boyfriend." I had to say that, I knew they wouldn't let me go with him otherwise.

"Alright." We climbed in and drove off to the hospital. The whole way there I held his hand. I was so worried about him! By the time we were nearly there I think I was shaking from all the emotions because one of the doctors was trying to calm me down. I couldn't help it though, I love him.

A few minutes later we arrived and Jinxx was carried off to the emergency room, leaving me sat in the waiting room. I kept glancing at the clock but time seemed to have stopped. I rested my elbows on my thighs and rubbed my eyes. Today's events made me emotional, leading to tears.

A while later a doctor came out, I recognized him as being the one from the ambulance.

"Is he okay? Will he get out of it?"

"I can't reveal any information right now." He said and walked past. He looked like he was rushing. Oh God, I just wish I could have prevented this. Why didn't I pay enough attention to him? This is all my fault. I just want to tell him that I'm sorry, I should have been there for him, I should have realized. I'm so stupid! Stupid,_ stupid,_ **_stupid!_** If he doesn't... survive this, I will hate myself forever. I live for him. He is the only one who matters in my life. I just want to know if he's okay... Is that too much to ask for?

Stupid fucking doctors. I should have said I'm his brother. His only relative. Something so they would tell me what is going on!

He is going to be okay. I know he is! He has to be! I just don't know what I'd do without my beautiful Miles.

Just then a nurse walked out of the room which they took him to and smiled at me.

"Is he okay?" I asked.

"He'll be fine, he just needs some rest now. We've connected him up to a machine which will basically give him food." She smiled at me again.

"Can I see him, _now?_" I couldn't smile back. All my happiness vanished when I saw him lying on the ground unconscious.

"Yes, just don't pressurize him, I know this is probably hard for you as his boyfriend, but try to stay calm and help him through this, please."

I nodded and stood up. Walking to his room took a lot of courage. When I finally walked in, he was hooked up to so many different machines, his face was paler than ever. The doctors were just leaving as I sat down on the chair next to Jinxx's bed. One smiled and nodded at me as she walked out.

I softly picked up Jinxx's hand and traced my fingers along his. I looked up at his face, he was so attractive. He was perfect weight the last time I checked, but now that he starved himself he was most likely underweight. I held his hand and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek. Just then, he woke up. I blushed and looked down at our hands.

He looked around in shock. He hadn't noticed me yet;I hope.

"A-Andy..." He choked out.

"Are you okay?" I blushed when he said my name. His voice was so perfect and adorable...

He could barely shake his head, but I could tell he meant 'no'. He closed his eyes.

"Miles? Miles can you hear me?" The heart rate monitor slowed down a bit. Jinxx gripped my hand as tightly as he could. Was this the end?


	6. Chapter 6

_A/N Hey there! Just wanted to let you know that I've made a few minor changes to the previous chapters as some parts didn't make sense (sorry!). There is no real need to re-read them so don't worry, it's nothing plot-changing. The only major mistake I made was writing that the BVB guys shared bedrooms. There are no bedrooms on tour buses. Sorry about that. -.-' So yeah, R&R! :)_

**~Ashley~**

Andy said that he'd be back soon and it had been an hour. We were all just standing around waiting at the mall.

"He's not answering his phone." Jake muttered. I was beginning to worry.

"I'm going back to the bus to check if he's alright. You two coming with me?" I said. They both nodded in unison and we headed back. All the way to the bus, I kept thinking about what happened between me and Andy at the hotel... Maybe he cared about me, even in the slightest? No. Obviously he didn't. He just cared about the sex. I guess that's how all those girls that I've fucked felt... I scratched my wrist, feeling the pain of the quite fresh cuts kick in. I'll overcome this... addiction... soon enough. I'll be okay. I guess I just don't want Andy to be with anyone else. Oh god, that makes me sound so possessive and stupid! I sighed. Jake turned to look at me. I shook my head as if to say _'I'm just thinking'_ and we continued walking.

When we got to our tour bus, the door was unlocked and there was no one inside. I took my phone out and tried calling Andy. He picked up after a while.

**~Andy~**

The doctors ran in and told me to wait outside. I took this opportunity to smoke. Outside, everything seemed peaceful and quiet. I lit the cigarette and took in a lung full of smoke. It relieved stress... usually. Not this time though. I was too worried about Miles to even care about anything any more. I felt something vibrate in my pocket - my phone.

The caller ID said 'Ash' so I answered.

"Andy? Andy are you okay? We've been calling you forever! Why didn't you answer earlier? Andy? Are you there? Hello?" Ashley was speaking very fast. I stayed silent for a while, only to hear him repeat my name.

"I'm here." I muttered. A sigh of relief could be heard from the other end.

"What's going on? Where are you?"

"I am in a hospital, with Jinxx." I breathed in the smoke of the cigarette I was holding. There was a quick pause.

"Why are you in a hospital? What happened? Is everything alright?"

"I wouldn't be at a fucking hospital if everything was alright would I? Jinxx pa-"

"Are you hurt?" Ashley butted in.

"I'm fine. It's just that Jinxx-"

"Okay we'll be there soon. Which hospital?" He didn't let me explain. Well if he's going to be a dick and not care, then fine.

"Just shut up will you? You don't care why Jinxx is here. Just piss off Ashley." I growled and hung up. A few seconds later my phone started to vibrate again. After noticing it was Ashley, I ignored the call and switched my phone off. I've had enough of him for now. Actually, I've had enough of everyone. I inhaled more smoke from my cigarette then threw it to the ground, stamping it out.

It may not seem like much, but it was really getting to me. Why doesn't Ashley care about Jinxx? I don't see any possible explanation for this. Jinxx is such a kind-hearted person, he always cares about everyone. He's never done anything that could hurt anyone, especially Ashley. Honestly, I don't see why Ash was being such a jerk. Sure, he might care about me but it's Jinxx that's the most important right now. He's in hospital for fuck's sake! Anyway, it would be pointless for Ashley to come here if he doesn't even bother to find out what's actually going on. He's being such a motherfucker it's staring to piss me off. For now, I give up on him.

_**A/N Hi guys I'm so so so sorry this is short it's kind of a filler because I couldn't think of anything so if you have any ideas please tell me! I'm not sure where to go next with this story really, so any reviews or PMs will be appreciated, thanks! ^-^**_


End file.
